There are a lot of stereotypes I disagree with.  I mean, who doesn’t?  But the biggest one that I’ve run up against lately is this notion that now that I’m engaged and going to be married, I won’t make time for my girlfriends anymore.

This is just not true.

I am well aware of the fact that many engaged/newlyweds fall into this happy and easy state of existence where they feel like they don’t need anyone else now that they have each other.  I can totally see how this could happen.  But there’s something to be said about the power of girlfriends.

I’m not saying that I don’t value my relationship with Jared.  However, I truly do not believe that any woman can survive without a strong group of female friends who have known you at your best and, of course, at your worst.  My girlfriends have helped me weather a lot of storms, and I’d be lying if I said I could give that all up just to spend time with a husband.  It honestly would not be enough: with girlfriends, there is just a different level of love and trust and silliness that cannot be replaced by any man.

Jared and I are really close-there are no topics that are off limits.  However, humans are complex creatures and one person cannot possibly meet all of our needs.  There are things that my friends may understand that Jared might not have any experience with, just solely for the reason that he’s never been through it.  And that’s ok!  It’s not “wrong” to turn to other friends to vent or ask for advice.  By staying only focused on your relationship with your fiance/husband, your focus becomes narrow, and your worldview starts to close.

I’ve always vowed to never be “that friend” that has to bring her significant other everywhere.  Although I’m sure I’ve made mistakes along the way, I do think I strike a healthy balance.  After all, it’s not fair to your girlfriends that may need time alone just to be a girl to always have to deal with you bringing your companion.  You may feel comfortable discussing everything under the sun in front of him, but maybe she doesn’t.  And what kind of friendship can you cultivate when your girlfriends feel like they have to censor themselves in front of you?  That’s why I’m a big advocate of girls-only weekends.  I’ve gotten a lot of flack for doing this so often from people that think it rude of me to leave Jared behind, but I have to say, these times away are healthy not only for my relationships with my friends, but also my relationship with Jared.  Screw the critics.  😉

I hope that as my marriage grows, my relationship with my girlfriends will continue to stay strong.  Kelly, Jenna, Ann, Christina, Cate, Sharon, Tracey, Laurie, Devon,  you all are my life blood, and I am looking forward to growing old with you as well.  🙂

Advertisements